Pit Viper The Exec French Fry Goggle

Go fast in The French Fry Goggles. Hyperventilator™ anti-fog technology and helmet compatibility ensure it’s you that sucks, not your goggles. Available in two sizes, small fry for small heads, big fry for big heads.
Whatever you do, do NOT pizza.

Disclaimer: If this doesn’t make sense to you, re-read after your first day in ski school.